Alright, so I know this is long overdue, but here it is. The main reason I didn’t write about this sooner is because I had no idea how to put most of it into words. I still don’t really, but I’m gonna do the best I can. This is by far the most intense experience I’ve ever had with anything. I did it with 4 other people, who I’ll refer to by the first letter of their names: P, B, M and A
So, it’s after prom. Everybody just got back, and we’re at an afterparty of sorts. Normal people have to go to school/work the next day, but we don’t. It’s the perfect time to drop a little acid and have some fun. 5 of us who are doing acid leave the party to go to a park. This is my 3rd time taking acid, so I down my 2 tabs confidently. Little did I know, there was something different about this acid. I don’t know if it was just ridiculously strong, or maybe there was something else in it (which I highly doubt, because there isn’t really anything else that can produce effects like that in such small doses).
T + 0:30h
We make our way to a graveyard to hang out for a bit. The coming up seems a lot faster than usual, but I think nothing of it. It’s only been half an hour and my body already feels like it’s melting into the earth. I start getting really excited because I’ve never actually tripped at night before. The entire graveyard shines gray from the full moon above, as I sit there, eager to start tripping.
T + 1:00h
We leave the graveyard, and start heading towards the park. At this point, A says he has to leave (I don’t remember why). We try telling him it’s not a good idea to be wandering the streets at night on acid, but he won’t listen, and he leaves. He ended up being fine, the acid didn’t fully hit him until he got to where he was going. 2 seconds later, we’ve all completely forgotten that he existed. I check the time, and it’s 2:00 am. We continue walking and talking for what feels like HOURS, until somebody brings up “Does anybody even remember that A was with us earlier tonight?” I look at my watch to see what time it is. 2:03. This is gonna be a long night. We slowly build up speed as we’re walking, without noticing at all until we’re almost at running speed. At this point, I tell everyone that we should just start walking really slowly. As soon as we did, time itself seemed to slow down. Everybody started talking a lot softer and slower, and the entire world around us seemed to be moving slower too. We make our way to a park, and sit down on some benches. I take out a box of nerds (candy) that I have in my bag, and put some in my mouth. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. I look up at the sky, and I see bright green and blue swirling fractal patterns everywhere.
Imagine this, but everywhere.
My entire body felt ecstatic and energetic. It was like I could feel the sweetness of the candy with every single one of my senses. I couldn’t help myself from bursting out laughing. It was like a whole other drug in itself! We sat there for a while, passing around this box of nerds, each person taking some and putting in their mouth, and then laughing for a little while. We must have been doing this for at least half an hour, or at least that’s what it felt like. I look at my watch. 2:11. God damn.
T + ?:?
Time loses all meaning.
What the fuck is that shit anyway?
I would love to retell this part in chronological order, but I have no idea what order any of this happened in, or how long we stayed at any single place. We’re in a park, but all I can see is 3 colours: orange from the streetlights, purple from the shadows, and dark green from the grass. My entire field of vision is split into 3 equal parts, one of each colour, separated by fractal patterns. These weren’t the pretty swirly fractals though, these looked more veiny and decrepit.
The ugly kind of fractals.
They all met in the centre of my vision, and extended out past my peripherals. However, the centre didn’t move with my head when I looked around. When I would look up at the sky, or the trees and houses around me, I would see the orange. Whenever I saw mostly orange, I felt really elated, and enjoyed being on acid. When I looked down at the ground or my backpack in a dark area, my vision would fade to mostly dark purple. These were the worst times of the trip. Whenever this happened, all I wanted to do was go back to the orange. The green just felt like a neutral ground to me, and the only time when I felt sane. My body felt like it was part of the fractals I was seeing too.
This was my arm.
Each limb felt like it was melting into the fractals that were everywhere around me, and folding into itself. I could feel every single infinitely small particle in my body drifting through an empty void. The sensation felt somewhat like drifting through cold, liquid cement, or some other kind of chunky, rough textured liquid. Every few seconds, I would switch between the real world and this fractal existence. There were times when I was able to catch a glimpse of what the park around me looks like, or who is around me, and times when all I could see was fractals, and I could barely even stand because I felt like I was constantly falling into the fractals. All that can be heard is laughter and incomprehensible babbling from everyone, including myself. As well as all of this, I was having some of the most intense memory loops I’ve ever had. I want to check my phone, so I take off my backpack and open it up. Then I forget why I opened it up. I remember that I’m on acid. Whoa, I’m just a guy in a park. There are other people here? HAHAHA, WE’RE JUST FOUR GUYS IN A PARK! Wait, I have a backpack. Why is it not on? I put on my backpack, forgetting to close it. Oh yeah, I wanted to check my phone! I take off my backpack again. Why is my backpack open? I close it and put it back on, forgetting to check my phone. WE’RE JUST FOUR GUYS IN A PARK! This went on for pretty much the entire night.
On top of all of this, I couldn’t tell if I was hot or cold the entire night. I was sweating profusely, and it was a pretty cold night, so the sweat made me really cold. I put on my sweater, and suddenly I would feel uncomfortably hot. I don’t think there was a single point in the entire night where my body was actually comfortable temperature-wise. I kept taking off my sweater, then putting it back on, then taking it off again. Whenever we would walk somewhere, I would fall behind because I had to open my bag to get or put away my sweater. Whenever I started to fall behind, I would start seeing more and more purple, and everyone would start saying stuff like "What's up, dude? Why are you falling behind?" I don't know why, but I saw this as them thinking I was having a bad trip, which I knew would lead to one, so whenever this happened, I would quickly just start walking forward again, completely ignoring my backpack. This resulted in me leaving my bag open a lot of times, and forgetting about stuff.
I realize that we’re in a park, and there’s lots of sand there. I sit and stare at the sand for a while, and it’s lit up by bright fractals just like everything else. The fractals are moving, it’s mesmerizing. I want to touch it. I bury my hand in the sand and start moving it around, and it’s the strangest thing I’ve ever felt. It’s like my hands are digging through a million tiny particles of silk. The sand feels smooth and almost liquid, but at the same time rough and dry.
I don’t really know what happened for the rest of the night. I don’t know if we relocated to any other parks, or if we just stayed in the same one all night. I know we tried to play hackeysack at one point, and it was utterly impossible due to the inability to stand up for more than a few seconds, or remember what we were doing.
T + 5:00h
The sun begins to rise, and some semblance of reality is returning. P leaves us at this point to get some sleep, and the rest of us just walk around for a bit. I can finally see colours again! At this point the trip drastically changes from complete insanity to at least some sort of clarity. My thoughts are still all over the place, as I have no idea what just happened. As the sun comes up over the horizon, I can finally feel warmth again. So this is what it feels like! It felt so amazing to remember what the real world was like, and also know that I just experienced that entire night, and survived it with my sanity still intact. I can’t even begin to describe how great it felt to be alive at that moment.
T + 5:30h
After an entire night without eating any food, we’re all extremely hungry. We go to the nearest 24h McDonalds to grab some food. M goes up to the counter to order, and completely loses it. All he says is “What the fuck is this?” and then starts laughing uncontrollably. I ended up ordering food for both of us, and then we left as quickly as possible. Eating was impossible. My stomach feels like an empty void, or a black hole that’s pulling all my insides into it. I keep trying to transfer the food from my mouth into my stomach, to fill up the void, but it just isn’t possible. Whenever I try to swallow, my throat clenches up and most of the food ends up back in my mouth. It was like trying to force too much sand into an hourglass at once. At a certain point I just give up and decide to live with being hungry for a little while longer.
We make our way to another park that’s near there, the whole way marvelling at all the people getting up early and doing work/preparing for their day, while we were just wandering the streets, tripping on acid. It felt good to have no responsibilities at all. When we get to the park, we just lay down in a field for at least 2 hours, talking and watching people exercising and doing tai chi or whatever in the park.
One guy was doing it so hardcore.
T + 8:00h
After going back to one of the parks we went to in the night to get my watch that I left there, we go back to the party that we were at the night before. Everybody is still asleep, and the few people who are awake are either hung over, really stoned or just tired. At this point the acid has worn itself down into a little more than a weed high. Since we didn’t really get a chance to party with anyone who was there, we go out into the backyard to smoke a blunt with a few of them. Smoking weed felt really calming and relaxing, as it usually does while on psychedelics. After we finish the blunt, we all go back into the house. Everybody who wasn’t on acid is saying how they’re incredibly stoned from that blunt, but I don’t really feel any sort of increase in my high after smoking it. The only thing that blunt really did for me was make me extremely hungry. The host of the party makes us the most disgusting peanut butter sandwiches I’ve ever seen in my life. They’re even harder to eat than the McDonalds, so I just give up, even though I’m fucking starving.
T + 12:00h
I attempt at sleep, but it’s still impossible at this point. Whenever I laid still for a long period of time, I would start to get the same feeling of my arms and hands being fractals, except a lot warmer and more uncomfortable. I decide it’s not worth trying to sleep now, and since I’m feeling no more than a heavy weed high at this point, I’m fine to just go home. When I get home, my mom is there, but I’m in a sober enough state of mind to still talk to her and be alright. I stayed up probably another 10 or so hours before passing out from exhaustion.
I still have no idea what to think about this trip, but writing it down has definitely given me more understanding and insight into what happened.
No comments:
Post a Comment